Some things I found…

It’s time for a glimpse into some of the things I found in the rubble of my childhood home.

First up is my teddy bear, Teddy.  Most of my old stuffed animals have names like this. I had a blind goat named Goaty, an inexplicable carrot named Carrot, and a lion named Louis.  Alliteration is pretty much the height of my creativity.  Also…in retrospect most of my stuffed animals were a little crappy.  Krissy had all this name brand shit and I always liked all these raggedy old animals (and food items.)  But I am happy to have Teddy.  I brought him home with me and he is soft and smells like fabric softener.

 

imageThis is by far the creepiest book cover I have ever seen.  I read the book and fortunately the secret is nothing like you may be thinking of.  In fact it is really sort of lame.  Turns out his secrets are things like eating healthy food, exercising, and avoiding cigarettes.  Yes, this four year old is very clear about the fact that he does not smoke cigarettes.  But these aren’t secrets…it’s the fucking Health Message.  Semantics…

Finally we come to the scene that greeted me when I walked into the bathroom…

image

It’s like Silence of the Lambs up in there.

image

Moooooooving.

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7 Responses to Some things I found…

  1. chareelouise says:

    It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.

  2. lilslik says:

    welcome home, teddy.
    lols at everything else. really.

  3. Carin says:

    what’s happening to all the toys?

    i will miss that bathroom.

  4. doctorwaffle says:

    I’m glad Teddy came home with you. I brought my pogs home with me.

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